Girl Troubles

by **Vieira151** » Thu, 06 May 2010 21:46

i meant Q-esque in the sense i posted, but had nothing to give to the conversation/topic :lol:

by **GOA MASTER MDMA** » Thu, 06 May 2010 21:48

i delete the post above

by **Vieira151** » Thu, 06 May 2010 21:49

I noticed

But yeah, i would help, but there are people here with better advice

by **GOA MASTER MDMA** » Thu, 06 May 2010 21:51

at all nobody here can give real advices without knowing him ,her, and the whole situation.

only we can give inspiration . maybe .....

i just tried to helping villa100 coz he questioned -

by **Vieira151** » Thu, 06 May 2010 21:55

nah, i cant give inspiration. Considering ive never been anywhere near his sitaution at all :lol:

I suck socially therefore i cant really help. Ive only been able to slightly help my friends in RL

by **VillaJ100** » Fri, 07 May 2010 01:10

Its very, very comlicated. I needed to go for a blood test earlier, just a routine thing because i had glandular fever a little while ago, and i mentioned it it in passing earlier and she was totally, toally adamant she should come with me and be "there for me", which is odd as i'm a big boy, a blood test is of no bother to me lol. But when i ask her out tonight, shes seeing her boyfriend and her little clique of friends, and im "being clingy" again, i haven't saw her for a month. Those lot have seen her literally every day for 3 weeks. I just don't understand, it makes me feel as though their company is better than mine.

for a bit of background, we've been aquaintances for about 2 years, and close friends for about a year. When we very first started play-dating she had a boyfriend, so i never responded, but she was very tactile, always holding my hand and hugging me etc. thats doesnt happen now and hasn't since those early days, because she had a bf and gradually i stopped seeing her that way, and now the most we have is a hug at the end of a a day/night out together.
She tells me so many things, about her past and stuff which she can tell nobody else, and shes so concerned about her image and how she looks, but with me we'l eat load of pizza and relax and be totally comfortable with each other's company. I just guess it kinda confuses me.

I've had loads of girlfriends in the past, some i've really had a strong sexual attraction to, but with my friend i don't, but i have this overwhelming desire to wrap her in cotton wool and look after her.

thats for the advice guys, i appreciate it. like i say i'm not the sort of guy to proclaim problems in public usually, im quite private.

by **jayl0ve** » Fri, 07 May 2010 01:16

You must be somewhat attracted to her...I mean, that's what it sounds like to me, even though you've said the opposite.

You're just going to have to show her some tough love. Don't answer her calls, don't do any favors for her, don't be there for her when she needs somebody to talk to..it's the only thing girls respond to, sadly. They (she) will walk all over you for the rest of your life, if you let them (her). She obviously is going through some kind of big change with her whole 'persona' or whatever- girl sounds like a handful and like almost all women, more trouble than she's even worth!

by **diesel501** » Fri, 07 May 2010 06:22

It's always hard falling into the best circle of just friends with females once in it, it's near impossible to get out . Many men and young men would roger there famale so called best friends if they offered it on a plate, vice verser it wouldn't happen it's the testostorone in men it leaves you thinking with the wrong head. But to me it seems similar to the forest gump scenario with his best friend. I think the best thing you can do for her is to let her find her own feet not force the situation, or she will only push you further away. Just be there for her when it goes pear shape which it more than likely will. and as you said she we'll be back.

Life is only truely know through trial an error it's experiancing the bad which makes you appreciate the good.

Girls are also funny when it comes to boyfriends as everything becomes about them for a while e.g my girlfriend has her best friend which she talks too all the time but that's only when she's single then she dissapears for months. When she back on the seen I know what time it is, back in the singles club. She will be back man just be patient.

Girls phylosiphy is wrong Anyway, your partner should be your everything including (best friend) 09

by **fedfan** » Fri, 07 May 2010 09:12

Maybe it is more of a big brother attitude you have, but you have to be honest with what is it you want from her? How was your relationship with her when you had a girlfriend?

If she is trying new things with new people the novelty may eventually wear off or you will naturally drift apart as even the best of friends can.

by **VillaJ100** » Fri, 07 May 2010 12:54

I think i'd like us to be thick as thieves and see each other like 3-4 times a week as before, and do a lot of stuff together rather than being all distant. But it seems she doesn't want that, its "being clingy" lol. She isn't jealous or anything when i had a gf, she's happy for me, and judges them to a certain extent to see if they are nice or not lol. Like i say she doesnt see me as more than a friend, so i wont make her jealous or anything lol, like i say shes happy not to see me for long periods of time.

I think i'm gonna leave it and let her contact me and ask me out, which could be months away lol. I'll be all cynical then and think shes just asking as theres nothing better to do, which will be true. But i'm not gonna keep asking to be told 'no' and then if i mention i'd like to see her and be accused of being needy/clingy. Its all complicated lol. But yeah i guess if she cares i guess she'l be back.

by **GOA MASTER MDMA** » Fri, 07 May 2010 13:03

jon ,specialist ,fedfan bring in good true points
and when i read your post villa than i must say -forget it -you got only used as a ""friend""

it can be hard to be a non sexuell friend when you have feelings -so allways be carefully when you start a "best frind"thing with a woman

when its a hot girl its nearly impossible for man to be a permanently "" best friend "" in life

myself i canand will be be only a non sexuell " friend" from a woman when i "got" her before in a relationship .
when i know it makes no sense to be more as a friend .
or when she is ugly -so ugly that i never will start to got her
thats the only way to be a true friend -

in live so much things can happens -esspecially with a girl as best friend .

what is when her boyfriend is jealous to you -or your girlfriend is jealous to her . and and and
that means problems problems problems
you see it at yourself right now . at your situation

friends between man and girl is one of the most difficult stuff - how i sayed earlier -
i´m very carefully with starting non sexuell friendships with girls .

all my friends with girls are from earlier relationships - for me this works good

mean i play often the good friend to "got" her !!
but this is another thematik :roll:

BTW: thats why girls prefer gay man as best friends - so they must not scare feelings

by **Moralspain** » Fri, 07 May 2010 14:03

jayl0ve wrote:You must be somewhat attracted to her...I mean, that's what it sounds like to me, even though you've said the opposite.

You're just going to have to show her some tough love. Don't answer her calls, don't do any favors for her, don't be there for her when she needs somebody to talk to..it's the only thing girls respond to, sadly. They (she) will walk all over you for the rest of your life, if you let them (her). She obviously is going through some kind of big change with her whole 'persona' or whatever- girl sounds like a handful and like almost all women, more trouble than she's even worth!

good tactic

by **Chris ITST** » Fri, 07 May 2010 20:37

Fair play for bringing this onto a forum...

As it happens .. I am in a similar boat as you right now. And normally nothing bothers me. But seeing a good girl go bad right infront of you is a weird feeling. Especially if you like her.... Normally i would shrug it off and be happy to call her a slut and move on. But she has clearly got trust issues when it comes to guys. For this its turning her wild and changing her as a person. At the end of the day its her life and she is girl .. so there isent much i can do expect not be clingy.

Might be hard to swallow man but the sooner you can learn to man up and forget.(However much you might feel for her and whatever you had) the better it will be for you in the long run. It makes you change your perspective on alot of things and your also learn to be more chilled out and less clingy. (I have been in situations like you)

Here is my advice.. Ignore her totally for as long as possible. Be cool, hang out with friends. Surround yourself with girls and show her that you have listened to her and left her be. When she **** up and realises what she has lost then SHE WILL come crawling back to you.

And by then i think you may have lost all respect for her and then you may be pushing her away. You would have also moved on.

*From experience*

Its swings and roundabouts my friend.

by **GOA MASTER MDMA** » Fri, 07 May 2010 20:58

chris is true
like i said earlier here - forget her
live your life forward and let live her life .
thats hard but the only way to save yourself

girls as non sexuell friends bring only problem -esspecially when she is attractive .

Girl Troubles

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